ENGLISHMAN AGES, THROWS PAR'Y

AUSTIN, TX - Astonished to learn he will age another year on his birthday, long time youth advocate and Englishman, Andy Dollerson, organizes an Irish themed party to conceal his embarrassment and old age.

POLITICIAN LOBBIES FOR RIGHTS

WASHINGTON, DC - Angered by the overwhelming neglect of St. Patrick's Day as a fiduciary holiday, Libertarian Spokesman and retired thespian, Greg Willis, lobbies for political tolerance for the day celebrating the Patron Saint of Ireland.
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